The Story Behind Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice
When I cared for my mum through the final months of her life, something became very clear to me: there had to be another way.
A different way to care for her and for me, without losing the lightness of life along the way.
So much of what we’re shown about caring for someone who is ill or dying is full of sorrow, sacrifice, and silent suffering.
This wasn’t my lived experience. I wanted others to know this was possible, so I wrote Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice.
Caring with Kindness, Not Obligation
Throughout my journey with Mum, I wasn’t interested in doing things out of obligation or duty.
I was choosing to create a space where both of us could still be who we truly were without getting lost in the circumstances. Every day I consciously chose the energy of kindness.
Kindness isn’t something you “add on” to care. It’s a choice you make, even when the situation is raw and real.
Choice for Both the Carer and the Person Ill
Another key element that wove itself through everything was choice. Both, my choice as the caregiver and Mum’s choice as the one receiving care.
We included choice in every conversation, every adjustment, every moment because otherwise caregiving can quickly turn into resentment.
Without choice, dying can become something passive and powerless.
But when you acknowledge that choice is always present—even in the smallest things—the whole process changes.
There’s more dignity. More freedom. And more space for what’s real.
Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice was borne out of the understanding that even at the end of life, choice is still the greatest gift we can offer each other.
Lightness in Difficult Times
People often assume that death and dying must be heavy. And yes, there were tears and tender, aching moments. But there was also laughter.
There were stories, quiet mornings, gentle jokes, and small celebrations of living right up until the last breath.
Lightness doesn’t erase the reality of dying. It creates moments of connection where fear would otherwise creep in.
I won’t pretend it was easy, but it could be lighter than anyone expects.
A Gift to My Mum
Caring for my mum in that way was one of the greatest gifts of my life.
It was a gift to honour her, to be present without judgment, and to walk with her all the way home.
For me, knowing I had been all of me without becoming lost in the situation was also a gift. After Mum passed, I knew that gift was meant to be shared.
Sharing What Was Possible
I didn’t write Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice because I had all the answers.
I wrote it because others like me also might be searching for a different way.
Have you ever wondered whether caring and dying could be filled with more kindness, more choice, and more ease? I warmly invite you to explore Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice.
This book isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s a story about living right up to the final moment, and beyond.
And it’s an invitation to choose more kindness, more lightness, and more presence through the stages of caring, dying, and even grieving.
For practical tools on caregiving please sign up to my mailing list here
To purchase Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice visit my shop
A different way to care for her and for me, without losing the lightness of life along the way.
So much of what we’re shown about caring for someone who is ill or dying is full of sorrow, sacrifice, and silent suffering.
This wasn’t my lived experience. I wanted others to know this was possible, so I wrote Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice.
Caring with Kindness, Not Obligation
Throughout my journey with Mum, I wasn’t interested in doing things out of obligation or duty.
I was choosing to create a space where both of us could still be who we truly were without getting lost in the circumstances. Every day I consciously chose the energy of kindness.
Kindness isn’t something you “add on” to care. It’s a choice you make, even when the situation is raw and real.
Choice for Both the Carer and the Person Ill
Another key element that wove itself through everything was choice. Both, my choice as the caregiver and Mum’s choice as the one receiving care.
We included choice in every conversation, every adjustment, every moment because otherwise caregiving can quickly turn into resentment.
Without choice, dying can become something passive and powerless.
But when you acknowledge that choice is always present—even in the smallest things—the whole process changes.
There’s more dignity. More freedom. And more space for what’s real.
Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice was borne out of the understanding that even at the end of life, choice is still the greatest gift we can offer each other.
Lightness in Difficult Times
People often assume that death and dying must be heavy. And yes, there were tears and tender, aching moments. But there was also laughter.
There were stories, quiet mornings, gentle jokes, and small celebrations of living right up until the last breath.
Lightness doesn’t erase the reality of dying. It creates moments of connection where fear would otherwise creep in.
I won’t pretend it was easy, but it could be lighter than anyone expects.
A Gift to My Mum
Caring for my mum in that way was one of the greatest gifts of my life.
It was a gift to honour her, to be present without judgment, and to walk with her all the way home.
For me, knowing I had been all of me without becoming lost in the situation was also a gift. After Mum passed, I knew that gift was meant to be shared.
Sharing What Was Possible
I didn’t write Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice because I had all the answers.
I wrote it because others like me also might be searching for a different way.
Have you ever wondered whether caring and dying could be filled with more kindness, more choice, and more ease? I warmly invite you to explore Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice.
This book isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s a story about living right up to the final moment, and beyond.
And it’s an invitation to choose more kindness, more lightness, and more presence through the stages of caring, dying, and even grieving.
For practical tools on caregiving please sign up to my mailing list here
To purchase Dying Happy, the Gift of Choice visit my shop
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