A quiet act of love at the end of life
When the doctor told my mum she wouldn’t make the year, she heard it calmly. She didn’t argue. She didn’t cry. She just absorbed it. And then she shielded my dad from it.
It wasn’t just that she didn’t tell him. She changed her whole energy like she always had. She smiled. She reassured him. She protected him from something she knew he couldn’t bear. And she did it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Because for her it was.
A Lifetime of Quiet Strength
My mum had always been a chameleon and that’s not a criticism. I saw it as one of her gifts. She could shift her tone, her mood, her presence to keep peace, to protect others, to hold the family together.
Even in the moment she received the news of her own death, she used that gift again. Not for herself but for Dad.
She didn’t want him to suffer more than he already was. She knew what he could and couldn’t handle. As she had done for decades, she made it easier for him to keep going.
Seeing Her Clearly
As I watched her, I saw just how much energy it took to keep that up. To not show what she was really feeling. And I also saw the incredible heart it came from.
Sometimes we’re quick to judge behaviours like this. We call them self-abandoning, or emotionally repressive, or outdated. But to do that here would miss the whole point. What she did wasn’t from fear. It was from love.
Mum didn’t hide the truth because she was weak. She hid it because she was strong enough to carry it for both of them.
A Deeper Love
There are many kinds of love. Some are loud and generous with words. Others are quiet, invisible, wrapped in the space between actions.
This was the quiet kind. The kind that says, “You don’t need to carry this—I’ve got it.”
And because I was willing to observe without judgement, I got to see it. Really see it.
That moment, in its simplicity, showed me a love deeper than many ever speak about. One that protected without control and gave without needing recognition.
That will stay with me, always.
My Invitation To You
If this reminded you of someone you’ve loved, someone who gave quietly without asking for anything in return, I invite you to pause. Let yourself feel the depth of that gift.
And if you’re walking through something similar now, watching, caring, holding space, I’d love to see you at one of my upcoming talks or courses.
Sometimes the greatest act of love is simply allowing yourself to see what’s truly there.
Photo: Sabine van Erp, Pixabay
It wasn’t just that she didn’t tell him. She changed her whole energy like she always had. She smiled. She reassured him. She protected him from something she knew he couldn’t bear. And she did it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Because for her it was.
A Lifetime of Quiet Strength
My mum had always been a chameleon and that’s not a criticism. I saw it as one of her gifts. She could shift her tone, her mood, her presence to keep peace, to protect others, to hold the family together.
Even in the moment she received the news of her own death, she used that gift again. Not for herself but for Dad.
She didn’t want him to suffer more than he already was. She knew what he could and couldn’t handle. As she had done for decades, she made it easier for him to keep going.
Seeing Her Clearly
As I watched her, I saw just how much energy it took to keep that up. To not show what she was really feeling. And I also saw the incredible heart it came from.
Sometimes we’re quick to judge behaviours like this. We call them self-abandoning, or emotionally repressive, or outdated. But to do that here would miss the whole point. What she did wasn’t from fear. It was from love.
Mum didn’t hide the truth because she was weak. She hid it because she was strong enough to carry it for both of them.
A Deeper Love
There are many kinds of love. Some are loud and generous with words. Others are quiet, invisible, wrapped in the space between actions.
This was the quiet kind. The kind that says, “You don’t need to carry this—I’ve got it.”
And because I was willing to observe without judgement, I got to see it. Really see it.
That moment, in its simplicity, showed me a love deeper than many ever speak about. One that protected without control and gave without needing recognition.
That will stay with me, always.
My Invitation To You
If this reminded you of someone you’ve loved, someone who gave quietly without asking for anything in return, I invite you to pause. Let yourself feel the depth of that gift.
And if you’re walking through something similar now, watching, caring, holding space, I’d love to see you at one of my upcoming talks or courses.
Sometimes the greatest act of love is simply allowing yourself to see what’s truly there.
Photo: Sabine van Erp, Pixabay
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