Caregiving with vulnerability and trust
When someone you love is declining, wanting to control things is natural.
You organise medications, schedule appointments, rearrange furniture for safety. You try to anticipate every need, head off crises, and solve problems before they emerge.
But here’s what I can tell you from my experience: you can’t control everything. Trying to do so will only exhaust you.
When Plans Fall Apart
Oftentimes, things you didn’t expect will happen. Someone will react differently than you thought, appointments will change or symptoms will get worse. Life keeps unfolding in ways you can’t predict. This is what makes control such a limitation.
Vulnerability Isn’t Weakness
When the energy shifts, there is another alternative, vulnerability.
Not the tearful, collapsing kind but the strength to lower your barriers.
The courage to feel what’s happening instead of bracing against it.
Vulnerability is the willingness to be present, even when you can’t control the outcome.
It’s saying, "I don’t know how this will go and I’m still here."
That’s not weakness. That’s awareness.
Letting Life In
When you let go of trying to control it all, something beautiful happens:
You start letting life in.
You begin responding to what’s actually needed, not what you think should happen.
You see the small, miraculous moments you would have missed while focusing on the checklist:
Following the energy instead of forcing the plan
In Access Consciousness®, we talk about “following the energy.”
That simply means feeling into what’s light, what’s needed, what’s being asked for in the moment, not from fear, but from awareness.
Sometimes following the energy means you stay an extra five minutes with them.
Sometimes it means you leave earlier than you thought.
Sometimes it means you change the whole afternoon because a different possibility shows up.
You don’t have to get it right. You just have to be willing to be aware.
Caregiving with Presence
If you’re trying to control everything, breathe. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just trying to love in the best way you know.
And maybe there’s another way. With more softness and grace for you and for them. Presence always starts with letting go.
A Soft Invitation
If you’ve been trying to hold it all together, and feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process, I invite you to loosen your grip just a little.
You’re not alone and you don’t have to control everything to be doing it beautifully. Let's begin with presence.
Photo courtesy of Ritesh Tamrakar from Pixabay
You organise medications, schedule appointments, rearrange furniture for safety. You try to anticipate every need, head off crises, and solve problems before they emerge.
But here’s what I can tell you from my experience: you can’t control everything. Trying to do so will only exhaust you.
When Plans Fall Apart
Oftentimes, things you didn’t expect will happen. Someone will react differently than you thought, appointments will change or symptoms will get worse. Life keeps unfolding in ways you can’t predict. This is what makes control such a limitation.
Vulnerability Isn’t Weakness
When the energy shifts, there is another alternative, vulnerability.
Not the tearful, collapsing kind but the strength to lower your barriers.
The courage to feel what’s happening instead of bracing against it.
Vulnerability is the willingness to be present, even when you can’t control the outcome.
It’s saying, "I don’t know how this will go and I’m still here."
That’s not weakness. That’s awareness.
Letting Life In
When you let go of trying to control it all, something beautiful happens:
You start letting life in.
You begin responding to what’s actually needed, not what you think should happen.
You see the small, miraculous moments you would have missed while focusing on the checklist:
- A smile that lights up a tired face
- A joke shared at the right moment
- A quiet breath of connection without any words needed.
Following the energy instead of forcing the plan
In Access Consciousness®, we talk about “following the energy.”
That simply means feeling into what’s light, what’s needed, what’s being asked for in the moment, not from fear, but from awareness.
Sometimes following the energy means you stay an extra five minutes with them.
Sometimes it means you leave earlier than you thought.
Sometimes it means you change the whole afternoon because a different possibility shows up.
You don’t have to get it right. You just have to be willing to be aware.
Caregiving with Presence
If you’re trying to control everything, breathe. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just trying to love in the best way you know.
And maybe there’s another way. With more softness and grace for you and for them. Presence always starts with letting go.
A Soft Invitation
If you’ve been trying to hold it all together, and feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process, I invite you to loosen your grip just a little.
- What if you didn’t have to know exactly how it’s all going to look?
- What if you could follow the energy, not the fear?
- What if vulnerability is what makes you strong, not control?
You’re not alone and you don’t have to control everything to be doing it beautifully. Let's begin with presence.
Photo courtesy of Ritesh Tamrakar from Pixabay
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