It is common trap we can set for ourselves with asking ‘why?’, when something challenging shows up in life: “Why me?” “Why did this happen?”, “Why did this happen to such a good person?”, “It’s not fair... why isn’t this different?”
Why is it a trap? The problem with a question like ‘Why’, is you are looking for a way to figure out the reason or the justification for what has occurred, as if understanding it will make it all okay. But it won’t. “Why” keeps you looking backwards and takes you further down the rabbit hole until you are so tied up in knots that you can’t see a different possibility.
A true question invites information and possibilities into your world. A question gives you space and a sense of freedom. Asking why never gives you space, it takes you round and round in ever shrinking circles.
What if, instead of trying to understand stuff, you start acknowledging what is? Instead of going “why did this person choose this?” or “why is this person doing that?”, stop trying to figure it all out and go: “Okay this is what’s going on.”
Have you noticed that mostly you can never figure out the reason why because most times there is no “why” that ever makes sense? Why would you keep on looking for something that doesn’t exist? Can you make sense of an insane world? No, you can’t. But you can acknowledge what is happening, not judge it as right or wrong, and ask a different question, like “What else is possible that I haven’t considered?”
With acknowledgment, you don’t have to try and make sense of anything, you don’t have to judge you or anyone else for the choices that have been made in the past or that are being made now.
It just is, and you can choose to move forward. If you gave up trapping yourself with ‘why?’, what else would be possible to acknowledge, to be, and to choose?
Why is it a trap? The problem with a question like ‘Why’, is you are looking for a way to figure out the reason or the justification for what has occurred, as if understanding it will make it all okay. But it won’t. “Why” keeps you looking backwards and takes you further down the rabbit hole until you are so tied up in knots that you can’t see a different possibility.
A true question invites information and possibilities into your world. A question gives you space and a sense of freedom. Asking why never gives you space, it takes you round and round in ever shrinking circles.
What if, instead of trying to understand stuff, you start acknowledging what is? Instead of going “why did this person choose this?” or “why is this person doing that?”, stop trying to figure it all out and go: “Okay this is what’s going on.”
Have you noticed that mostly you can never figure out the reason why because most times there is no “why” that ever makes sense? Why would you keep on looking for something that doesn’t exist? Can you make sense of an insane world? No, you can’t. But you can acknowledge what is happening, not judge it as right or wrong, and ask a different question, like “What else is possible that I haven’t considered?”
With acknowledgment, you don’t have to try and make sense of anything, you don’t have to judge you or anyone else for the choices that have been made in the past or that are being made now.
It just is, and you can choose to move forward. If you gave up trapping yourself with ‘why?’, what else would be possible to acknowledge, to be, and to choose?
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