Let’s talk about something that gets a lot of people all twisted up. If you are going to care for someone, and you ask; “Okay, is this going to work for me? Is it going to be fun for me?” most people would say no. And then they would still go to the space of; “But I need to care for this person. I would not desert them in their time of need.”
How do you move from the space of “I should do, I must do, I have to, but I hate it” and all of the resentment and resistance that goes with making being a carer into a necessity rather than a choice?
What if you could choose to be a carer from the space of; “Wow! This maybe not the funnest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m going to choose to do it, and what else is possible?”
Firstly look at the language and change it: “So what would it be like if I did choose to do this, and I actually did it with a lot more ease than I ever thought could be possible?” Does that offer a totally different energy of where you could start from?
It’s a totally different energy to the energy of; “I have to go do this now.” We see this choice everyday with parents and their kids: “Don’t talk to me at the moment. I’m really busy. I have to get this done.” And what is under that is often “I’ve got to get it right.” What if it’s not about getting it right or being ‘good’? What if it’s more about: “What’s possible here that I’ve never thought of before?”
Making a different choice becomes possible when you are being aware of what you are actually saying. Ask: “Am I choosing from the necessity of what I’ve already decided I have to do?” What if you could change the decisions and choose from the space of what’s possible?
Like this: “What if I could choose this? How would that look, if I did choose this for me? What could I be and do different here? What if there was an easier way to do this?”
And if you’d like to remove all of the past decisions that are keeping you from having choice ask: “What point of view have I bought around this?” Your point of view creates your reality. So what point of view have you bought about – “I have to go and do this, because this is way everyone else does it” that is not working for you? Change that and you’ll begin to choose for the joy of it, rather than the necessity.
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How do you move from the space of “I should do, I must do, I have to, but I hate it” and all of the resentment and resistance that goes with making being a carer into a necessity rather than a choice?
What if you could choose to be a carer from the space of; “Wow! This maybe not the funnest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m going to choose to do it, and what else is possible?”
Firstly look at the language and change it: “So what would it be like if I did choose to do this, and I actually did it with a lot more ease than I ever thought could be possible?” Does that offer a totally different energy of where you could start from?
It’s a totally different energy to the energy of; “I have to go do this now.” We see this choice everyday with parents and their kids: “Don’t talk to me at the moment. I’m really busy. I have to get this done.” And what is under that is often “I’ve got to get it right.” What if it’s not about getting it right or being ‘good’? What if it’s more about: “What’s possible here that I’ve never thought of before?”
Making a different choice becomes possible when you are being aware of what you are actually saying. Ask: “Am I choosing from the necessity of what I’ve already decided I have to do?” What if you could change the decisions and choose from the space of what’s possible?
Like this: “What if I could choose this? How would that look, if I did choose this for me? What could I be and do different here? What if there was an easier way to do this?”
And if you’d like to remove all of the past decisions that are keeping you from having choice ask: “What point of view have I bought around this?” Your point of view creates your reality. So what point of view have you bought about – “I have to go and do this, because this is way everyone else does it” that is not working for you? Change that and you’ll begin to choose for the joy of it, rather than the necessity.
Photo Credit
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