CONNECT!
Kindness With Grief
  • Home
  • About Wendy Mulder
  • Services
  • Events
  • Nurse Wendy
  • Blog
  • Shop
  • Contact
  • FREE Media
  • moreeasepayment

Finding The Right Thing to Say

21/7/2015

2 Comments

 
Knowing what to say to someone who has just experienced the loss of a loved one or a significant trauma can be an area of discomfort and confusion for many people.  I often get asked “What’s the right thing to say or do here? I want to be there for them but I don’t want to say something that will make them more upset or make it worse.”

I recall when my mother passed away, some people completely disappeared from my life for months and months.  They didn’t know what to say or do, and avoided me and my family totally instead of getting in touch.  They would rather go away than show up and be vulnerable.  What if there is actually no right thing to say?  What if finding the right thing to say, do, or be was not actually what was required to contribute to someone who was experiencing grief?

For many people in the early stages of grief, all they want is for someone to be with them and they want to be able to talk about their loved one, and have someone just listen.  By being willing to be that space and to have no point of view about what they choose, you are being a true gift.


So if don’t know what to say, that’s ok! In fact, that’s often a great place to start.  What if you would just show up and say “Hi, I really don’t know what to say, but I just want to let you know that I am here.” It’s really not about the words, it’s actually about your willingness to be there with them without any barriers. If you are willing to show up, be present and vulnerable and ask what contribution you can be to that person - that is huge.  Don’t underestimate it!
2 Comments
Annie
21/7/2015 08:14:28 am

Wendy, thank you. Your suggestion is brilliant...and simple.

Reply
wendy mulder
22/7/2015 08:15:57 am

Hi Annie , Thank you and yes what would it take for more ease around grief show up . hugs Wendy

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Wendy Mulder is an Access Consciousness® Facilitator, a Registered Nurse and Grief Therapist.  She is the author of 'Learning From Grief'.

    Archives

    June 2024
    September 2023
    July 2021
    September 2020
    March 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    July 2018
    September 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    January 2015
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    Coping With Grief
    For Carers
    Grief
    Kindness With Grief

    RSS Feed

Company

About
Services
Events

Support

Contact
Privacy Policy
​Data Protection
Terms of Use