Guilt and its related family members - blame, shame and regret, really have one job, and that is to distract you from what is true about you, and to stop you from perceiving what is actually possible in any moment.
What if the guilt was just another way of stopping you from being you?
What if there was another totally different choice available?
Guilt is a monster we use against ourselves to make us believe we have no value, and stop us from being and recognizing the gift that we actually are.
For example, a lot of people get upset and feel guilty at not being there when a friend or loved one passes. In my experience, I have perceived that often the person who passes actually chose to die by themselves. What if it is their choice of how and when they go? What if, instead of feeling guilty about not being there, you would ask, “oh did this person choose to leave on their own?” What if you acknowledged that you were not wrong, and be open to the possibility that you were able to honour the person’s desire to leave the planet on their own terms?
Guilt can only occur when you are willing to judge and decide that you are doing something wrong. Judging you is actually an unkindness that stops you from being the caring towards yourself – that exact same caring that is so valuable to you to be for others. Isn’t that kind of crazy?
Every one of those points of view distracts you from the joy and possibility that is available in your life, and it stops you from being a contribution out in the world! Giving up guilt not only expands your life, but the lives of everyone you touch.
Saying goodbye to the guilt monster doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are two things you can do right now that can help you move out of guilt and into a different possibility:
1. Ask a Question, have Gratitude and Choose your life 10 seconds at a time.
Ask yourself each day: What else is possible today? What am I grateful for? Universe show me something beautiful! What would I like to choose now? You have a choice to be happy, be sad, be upset, be joyful, to celebrate, to commiserate. You can choose anything for 10 seconds, and then you can choose something else for another 10 seconds, and then choose again. Practice living your life in 10 second increments. There is no right or wrong choice. If the guilt monster come up, give him 10 seconds, and then choose again!
2. Stop looking to the past.
What if nothing you have ever chosen was wrong?
"Guilt, blame, shame, and regret are all conditioned distracters we use against ourselves to stop us from seeing the beauty of ourselves. In every moment we do what we can, with what we have available to us. Choice always creates awareness, and awareness is our vehicle for growth. What you know now may not be what you knew then and going back to the past to judge yourself for the choices you made or didn't make doesn't allow you the freedom to choose today." - Extract from Dying Happy, The Gift of Choice by Wendy Mulder
What if the guilt was just another way of stopping you from being you?
What if there was another totally different choice available?
Guilt is a monster we use against ourselves to make us believe we have no value, and stop us from being and recognizing the gift that we actually are.
For example, a lot of people get upset and feel guilty at not being there when a friend or loved one passes. In my experience, I have perceived that often the person who passes actually chose to die by themselves. What if it is their choice of how and when they go? What if, instead of feeling guilty about not being there, you would ask, “oh did this person choose to leave on their own?” What if you acknowledged that you were not wrong, and be open to the possibility that you were able to honour the person’s desire to leave the planet on their own terms?
Guilt can only occur when you are willing to judge and decide that you are doing something wrong. Judging you is actually an unkindness that stops you from being the caring towards yourself – that exact same caring that is so valuable to you to be for others. Isn’t that kind of crazy?
Every one of those points of view distracts you from the joy and possibility that is available in your life, and it stops you from being a contribution out in the world! Giving up guilt not only expands your life, but the lives of everyone you touch.
Saying goodbye to the guilt monster doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are two things you can do right now that can help you move out of guilt and into a different possibility:
1. Ask a Question, have Gratitude and Choose your life 10 seconds at a time.
Ask yourself each day: What else is possible today? What am I grateful for? Universe show me something beautiful! What would I like to choose now? You have a choice to be happy, be sad, be upset, be joyful, to celebrate, to commiserate. You can choose anything for 10 seconds, and then you can choose something else for another 10 seconds, and then choose again. Practice living your life in 10 second increments. There is no right or wrong choice. If the guilt monster come up, give him 10 seconds, and then choose again!
2. Stop looking to the past.
What if nothing you have ever chosen was wrong?
"Guilt, blame, shame, and regret are all conditioned distracters we use against ourselves to stop us from seeing the beauty of ourselves. In every moment we do what we can, with what we have available to us. Choice always creates awareness, and awareness is our vehicle for growth. What you know now may not be what you knew then and going back to the past to judge yourself for the choices you made or didn't make doesn't allow you the freedom to choose today." - Extract from Dying Happy, The Gift of Choice by Wendy Mulder
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