How have you been taught to cope with change, challenge or grief? For many of us, our autopilot response to feelings of stress, overwhelm and anxiety is to go into shut down, self-isolation and avoidance in an effort to cope or heal. While it is healthy to give yourself space, there is a difference between choosing that which nurtures your body and shutting yourself down and off from the world, which usually creates more of a sense of pain and contraction.

What if there was a different possibility? One where you and your body come together to connect, relax and receive?

Developing a greater intimacy with your body is a profound yet simple process, that you can begin right away, and it takes just a few minutes.

Why not try spending 10 minutes each day with the target to just BE, relax and reconnect with you and your body?

Here is an example of how you could do this:

1. Sit or lie down, in a position where you can allow your body to fully relax. It could be in quiet room, or under tree, where you can feel a light breeze on your face. Go somewhere you can create a sense of peace and give your body some attention and ease.
2. Take a few deep breaths, and allow any physical, mental or emotional barriers to begin melting away. You can let them go now -- imagine giving them back to the earth where the earth will dissipate it all with ease.
3. What if today, you could choose 5% more gratitude and connection with your body? A great way of inviting this is to ask: Hello, Universe. Can you please show me what having more gratitude with me and my body is?  And don’t go looking for the answer. As you ask, relax. Drop those barriers further. Be kind to you, be patient with you, and allow the universe to show you, in its own way and timing. If you ask, you shall receive.

Choosing something different creates a movement and sense of momentum forward in your life, which stops you from getting stuck in old patterns of stress and ineffective coping mechanisms. Whatever you choose is okay, there is not right or wrong. And what could you choose with your body that would allow you to receive the gifts of your body and what it desires to contribute to you?

I get so much inspiration from the earth!

Wherever you go, wherever you are, we have this beautiful creation of our bodies and this beautiful creation of the earth.

I’ll go for a walk, even if it’s only for five minutes, and there’s just so much to see and receive. And the vibrancy of it all!

It could be in our own backyard. It can be in your own house with the sun coming through the window in the afternoon and touching the flowers on your coffee table, as they’re being lifted and lit by the sun.

Yesterday morning I was so excited. We’d had rain the night before, and all of the cobwebs and the grasses they had twinkles of dew on them, and the sun was touching them and so that was like all of these little diamonds shining, and I was like, “Oh, my goodness!”

There are so many delights.

There are so many gifts, so many nuggets of gold and diamonds available to us when we relax and don’t get so distracted by the noise of this reality.
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Yesterday is gone. Today is here. What are you going to choose and create with today? What grand and glorious adventure can you have with your body, your living, the earth? What if you asked for a greater connection with your body and the earth every day, and started opening up to BEing more?

I recently spent some time at a cattle property in the magnificent Queensland outback.

The managers of the property practice a program of low stress stock handling. The animals here are not mindlessly forced or shoved to move them around. Put simply, they are taught to move off a little pressure and rewarded for doing so.

Being around relaxed animals - particularly during mustering season - is so different from when I grew up, when those programs and ways of working and being with animals basically didn’t exist. It’s amazing to see the difference it makes to the people, animals and the land. Driving through herds of cattle and seeing so many of them still sitting down – that’s unusual!
 
This big bullock (pictured) was gorgeous! The whole experience of being in the field with him -  winding my way over to him slowly (not approaching him directly), being present, stopping and standing still when required, giving him space and letting him know with my energy that he was not being threatened or pressured - required me to relax, be unhurried and have fun!

When we finally stood side by side and I laid my hands on him, I noticed how much the relaxation, peace and calmness in his body expanded the more relaxed and calm I and my body were. The relaxation we were with each other was a magical gift! Can you tell from the big smile on my face? So grateful!
 
We don’t often realise that simple choices like relaxing, being aware, being present, are a gift not just to us, but to everybody and thing around us.

​What relaxation could you gift yourself today, that would create a greater world right away?

Hugs! Wendy xo

How many interesting points of view around grief are you aware of, that aren’t even yours?
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What do the people around you believe about grief? What are their attitudes about what it should and shouldn’t be, and what you should and shouldn’t be in regards to it? If you are sad and need time alone, does that mean you are wrong and should go to the doctor for pills? If you need to talk to someone does that mean you aren’t handling your grief, or that you are?

How many conflicting points of view are there around grief that are tying you up in knots?

Ask yourself: Who do all these points of view really belong to?

If something in your body or world it lightens up at all when you ask this, it is someone else’s. You may have bought into it 1000 years ago, you may have lived by it for many years, but it’s not yours. Just return it to sender – bye bye!

Also, people often do and say some weird things when loss has occurred, especially with the death of a loved one. What if every story you hear, every piece of advice, was also just an interesting point of view? If someone says or does something and it seems to contract your world – don’t buy it as true, just say to yourself “Interesting point of view they have the point of view,” and repeat until you feel more relaxed.  Same goes for you. When a point of view or judgment pops into your head, no matter how "real" or certain it feels, start saying “Interesting point of view I have this point of view,” as many times as you need until it doesn’t feel so sticky anymore. 

There is no right or wrong way to be with any kind of change or loss. If you are open to seeing that every perspective on grief is just interesting, you don't have to be or do anything that does not work for you. You get to choose how your life and living goes each day, no matter what is occurring and no matter what anybody else does.


Dive into more ease, engage with Wendy and view her upcoming events:
https://www.accessconsciousness.com/wendymulder
https://www.facebook.com/livingwithease/

When we are afloat in a sea of all kinds of emotions, opinions, judgments and information, it’s hard to know what is true for us – or is it?  
 
Have you noticed that when you are in nature, having fun, things are easy?  And when things are solid, heavy and contractive, they are problematic and hard?  That’s because what is true for you is always the lightness, and what isn’t true, what doesn’t work in your life, is the heaviness and contractive energies. 
 
With everything you hear, see and even with everything you say, start asking:

• Is this actually true for me? 
• Does this feel heavy or light? 

 
If it’s light, it’s true - for you! If it’s heavy, it’s actually a lie and not true for you.
 
Be aware that what is true for someone else might not be true for you, and vice versa. We are all unique and different, so doesn’t it make sense that different things work for different people?
 
Play with light and heavy – use it with things that you read (does what you read feel light to you, or heavy?  Which part is true for you? Which part isn’t?), with what people say, and with what you hear on the radio or news. Even with the information in these posts! 

What is light for you? 

What is true for you? 

What do you know and what can you acknowledge about what is true for you and what isn’t?
Anything interesting, make sure to write it down so you can look back at it later and keep acknowledging what is true for you!

If you were being a money farmer, how would you grow your money?

Growing up as a grazier's daughter, it was a joy to see seeds planted, baby animals born and nurturing it all to become something greater than before.  The caring, kindness and nurturing that you give to the land, the soil and the animals creates abundance.  What if you were that caring and kindness and nurturing with your money, too?

We had to listen to the earth, burning off the grass at certain times of year, so that the risk of bushfires was reduced, but also promoting new grass growth for the animals to eat.  We looked at everything that was around us - what did the plants and animals require from us so they would be healthy and plentiful and happy?  When we gave the soil space to regenerate without interference from crops or animals, it would regenerate and give back to us in the future years.

What if you would look at your money the same was as a farmer caring for their crops and animals?

What questions would you ask? What choices would you make?

Here are some simple questions to invite the adventure of being you with money, and inviting it to grow in your life with ease:

1.  Ask money: where do I need to put you today so that you create more for me now and in the future (1, 5 and 10 years from now)?

2. Where do I put my attention today that would contribute to the expansion of wealth, abundance, riches and money in my life and on the planet?

3. What joy, nurturing and space can I be and allow with money today that would create more in my life right away?

4. Money, what do you desire to contribute to me that I have never received before?

What assumptions are you making that keep you from being aware of your actual possibilities?

Assumptions are expectations you have that you may not even realise are running your life!

If you assume that someone will, should or even can see something from your point of view, that is an assumption! When you buy into someone else's expectation of you or any area of your life, you are making an assumption too.

In my work with grieving and nursing, assumptions are often rife!  Many times, when people receive a medical diagnosis, they assume that what the doctors expect and project about their body and illness is 100% true, when it may not be – they don’t question what they are being told and instead say, ‘Oh this is the way it is and the way it must be for me and my body.’

With the loss of loved ones, there are many assumptions about how you should feel, how you should and would ‘normally’ act in that situation, which again, have nothing to do with what is actually real and true for each person.

When you live with assumptions, you can't see where you can ask a question that might create a greater possibility for you.

If you have ever felt disappointment, judgement (of you or others or both), confusion, doubt or upset, rather than having clarity, ease and the JOY of no point of view - there's probably an assumption (or a few) getting in the way of you!

A great question you can ask to become free of the hidden assumptions running your life is: "What else is possible here that I haven't considered?" and be willing to continually ask that question in regards to everything, until a new possibility shows up. 

​A new possibility can ALWAYS show up, no matter what, but you do have to keep asking, and never assuming!

I founded Living With Ease and Kindness With Grief to assist people to embrace living beyond trauma, grief and self-judgement. The point of view I have chosen to take around grief is, ‘What if we could see grief from a space of allowance, question, and possibility?’

By choosing to ask different questions and look at grief from a different point of view, I have seen people who have felt stuck with grief, even if it has been for decades, begin to embrace living, joy and possibility again.

I encourage everyone who seeks to move beyond the grief in their lives to ask, "If grief was a gift, what choices could it offer and what changes could those choices bring?" 

If you are reading this and still wondering what a different possibility with grief looks or feels like, check out this radio interview I did with the amazing Donnielle Carter.  It might answer some questions, or at least open a door to a different point of view around your own experience.

Got to http://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/media/a-different-possibility-with-grief-guest-wendy-mulder to listen to the interview, or click on the image below!

Recently, I was interviewed on "For the Luv of Learning" radio show about the Kindness of Being You and the first question the hosts, Simone Padur and Christine DeDomenico, asked me was: What is kindness with yourself? What does that actually look like?
 
I explained using an example from my book, "Dying Happy: The Gift of Choice."

I chose to care for my mother when she was dying.  A lot of people go into caring for someone putting the person who is dying or ill first, and themselves second.

When I chose to take this on, I was very up front, I asked myself, "If I am going to do this, I am choosing for me.  How is this going to work for me? What do I need to be aware of and what do I need to choose?"

That was really a kindness for me. Making sure that I am choosing this for myself - not for my family, siblings, parents or anyone else.

That one simple choice right up front was a kindness as then I could do what I had to do and be there for my mother completely without getting tired or exhausted.

When you are living for the should, must, have to, it can get very exhausting. But if you are willing to choose for you, you become the leader and are able to choose, communicate and delegate what you need to so that it works for you and all elements are still taken care of.

You can listen to the full interview and have some fun exploring what being kind to YOU means for you here:

Hugs,
Wendy xx

DID YOU KNOW?...
You can get a copy of Wendy's book "Dying Happy the Gift of Choice" on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback:​